Garu's relations

[Garu]

&Garu's Relations

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& People who matter

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Inseparable>> [Xander and Anya are playing Life with Dawn.]
Anya: Crap! Look at this. I'm burdened with a husband, and several tiny pink children, and more cash than I can reasonably manage…
Xander: That means you're winning.
Anya: Really?
Xander: Yes. Cash equals good.
Anya: Oh! [claps] I'm so pleased! Can I trade in the children for more cash?
Childhood Friends >> [Buffy, Willow, and Anya are watching Road Runner in bed in Xander's Basement]
Buffy: That would never happen.
Willow: Well no, Buff. That's why they're called cartoons not documentaries.
Best Friends >> [Willow brings Buffy, who is in hospital, her homework]
Buffy: Homework.
Willow: It's my way of saying get well soon.
Buffy: You know, chocolate says that even better.
Willow: I did all your assignments. All you have to do is sign your name.
Buffy: Chocolate means nothing to me.
Close Friends >> Willow: How come you didn't tell me I look like a crazy birthday cake in this shirt?
Buffy: I thought that was the point.
Good Friends >> [Buffy and her friends are carving jack o' lanterns.]
Xander: I don’t know. I was going for ferocious, scary, but it’s coming out more dryly sardonic.
Willow: It does appear to be mocking you with its eye holes.
Oz: The nose hole seems sad and full of self-loathing.
Average Friends >>Buffy: You saw the Grand Canyon?
Xander: Well, I saw the movie Grand Canyon, on cable. Really lame.
Buffy: Huh?
Xander: Basically, I got as far as Oxnard and the engine fell out of my car, and that was literally. So I ended up washing dishes at the fabulous "Ladies Night" club for about a month and a half while I tried to pay for the repairs. Nobody really bothered me, or even spoke to me, until one night, when one of the male strippers called in sick, and no power on this earth will make me tell you the rest of that story. Suffice to say, I traded my car in for one that wasn't entirely made of rust, came trundling back home to the loving arms of my parents, where everything is exactly as it was, except I sleep in the basement and I have to pay rent. How's college?
Buffy: Male strippers?
Xander: No power on this earth!
Friend Of A Friend >> [Giles brings a zombie cat to the library.]
Cordelia: Nice pet, Giles. Don't you like anything regular? Golf, USA Today, or anything?
Giles: We're trying to find out how and why it rose from the grave. It's not as if I want to take it home and offer it a saucer of warm milk.
Oz: Well, I like it. I think you should call it Patches.
Someone To Talk To >>Buffy: Did Mr. Whitmore notice I was tardy?
Xander: I think the word you're searching for is absent.
Willow: Tardy people show. And yes, he did notice, so he wanted me to give you this. [hands Buffy an egg]
Buffy: As far as punishments go, this is fairly abstract.
Willow: No, it's your baby!
Buffy: Okay, I get it even less.
Xander: You know it's the whole sex leads to responsibility thing, which I personally don't get. You gotta take care of the egg, it's a baby. You gotta keep it safe and teach it Christian values.
Willow: My egg is Jewish.
Xander: Then teach it that dreidel song.
Name Bases >> Cordelia: When did you become Martha Stewart?
Buffy: First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand-cut prosciutto.
Xander: I don't believe she slays either.
Oz: Oh, I hear she can, but she doesn't like to.

& People who don't

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Hardcore Enemies >>[The Judge has captured both Buffy and Angel.]
Angel: Leave her alone!
Spike: That'll work. Now say pretty please.
Angel: Take me instead.
Spike: Apparently, you're not familiar with the concept. There is no instead, only firsts and seconds.
Drusilla: And if you go first, you don't get to watch the Slayer die.
Strong Hatred >> Dalton: Yes, but ... The Order of Taraka. I mean, isn't that overkill?
Spike: No, I think it's just enough kill
Strong Dislike >>Buffy: What is it with those guys?
Willow: They're obnoxious. Professionally.
Xander: Well, every school has 'em. See, you start a new school, you get your desks, some blackboards and some mean kids.

Mutual Dislike >> Xander: Okay, let's not say something we'll all regret later, okay?
Cordelia: Crazy freak!
Buffy: Vapid whore!
Xander: Like that.
Backstabber >> Willow: She's possessed!
Giles: Possessed?
Willow: That's the only explanation that makes any sense. I mean, you should've seen her last night. That wasn't Buffy.
Xander: Are we overlooking the idea that she may be very attracted to me? [gets looks from the others and concedes] She's possessed.
Giles: Possessed by what?
Willow: Aaaaa possessing thing!
Giles: [sarcastically] Well, that narrows it down.
Xander: Well, you're the expert. Hey, maybe when the Master killed her some... mystical bad guy transference thing happened.
Willow: That's what it was! I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?
Giles: Willow, I think we're all a little too old to be spelling things out.
Xander: A bitca?
Jealousy >> Buffy: Vampires are creeps.
Giles: Yes, that's why one slays them.
Buffy: I mean, people are perfectly happy getting along, and then vampires come, and they run around and they kill people, and they take over your whole house, they start making these stupid little mini-pizzas, and everyone's like, "I like your mini pizzas", but I'm telling you, I am—
Giles: Uh, Buffy! I believe the subtext here is rapidly becoming, uh... text.
Ex-Friend >> Faith: Give me the speech again, please. "Faith, we're still your friends. We can help you. It's not too late."
Willow: It's way too late. You know, it didn't have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo hoo! Poor you! You know, you had a lot more in your life than some people. I mean, you had friends in your life like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a slayer and now you're nothing. You're just a big, selfish, worthless waste.
[Faith knocks Willow to the ground.]
Faith: You hurt me, I hurt you. I'm just a little more efficient.
Willow: [stands up] Aw, and here I just thought you didn't have a comeback.
Bitter Ex >>Buffy: Impulsive? Do you remember my ex-boyfriend, the vampire? I slept with him, he lost his soul, now my boyfriend's gone forever, and the demon that wears his face is killing my friends. The next impulsive decision I make will involve my choice of dentures.
Annoyance >> (Xander knocks The Clown unconcious)
Xander: You were a lousy clown! Your balloon animals were pathetic! Anyone can make a giraffe!

& The heart that compels me...

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Life Mate>> Willow: Well, I like you. You're nice, and you're funny, and you don't smoke. Yeah, okay, werewolf, but that's not all the time. I mean, three days out of the month, I'm not much fun to be around either.
Oz: You are quite the human.
Willow: So I'd still, if you'd still.
Oz: I'd still. I'd very still!
Willow: Okay. No biting, though.
Oz: Agreed.
[Willow walks off, then runs back and gives Oz a quick but thorough kiss. She leaves again.]
Oz: Huh. A werewolf in love.
Current >> Drusilla: Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see?
Spike: Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet.
Future >>Oz: The monkey is the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that... You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen... So I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sort of ripped? Like, is the hippo going, "hey man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity." And you know the monkey's just, [in French accent] "I mock you with my monkey pants," then there's a big coup at the zoo...
Willow: The monkey's French?
Oz: All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?
Friends With Benefits >> Faith: All men are beasts, Buffy.
Buffy: Okay, I was hoping to not get that cynical 'til I was at least forty.
Faith: It's not cynical. I mean, it's realistic. Every guy from... Manimal down to Mr. I-Love-The-English-Patient has beast in him. And I don't care how sensitive they act. They're all still just in it for the chase.
Mutual Crush >>Oz: I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night. And I'm kinda nervous about it, actually. It's interesting.
Willow: Oh! Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say "yes."
Oz: Yeah, it helps. It ... it creates a comfort zone. ... Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?
Willow: [slaps forehead] Oh! I can't!
Oz: Well, see, I like that you're unpredictable.
Willow: Oh ... It's just, it's Buffy's birthday, and we're throwing her a surprise party.
Oz: It's okay.
Willow: But you could come! If you wanted.
Oz: Well, I don't want to crash.
Willow: No, it's fine! You could be my ... my date.
Oz: All right. I'm in. [nods farewell when she indicates she's ready to leave]
Willow: [walks off, delighted with the encounter] I said "date"!
Crush On Me >> Xander: (practicing to ask Buffy to the Spring Fling dance) Y'know, Buffy, Spring Fling just isn't any dance. It's a time for students to choose, um... a mate and then we can... observe their... mating rituals and tag them before they migrate- just kill me!
Crush on you >>
Buffy:"Well, I'm not constantly monitoring his health, his moods, his blood pressure...
Willow:"130 over 80."
Buffy: "You got it bad, girl!"
Physical Attraction >> Willow: Hey, maybe you can have Angel help you find the Gorches.
Giles: Yes! Yes, yes, that's not a bad idea. Strength in numbers.
Xander: Oh, right. I see a lotta hunting getting done in that scenario.
Buffy: Please. Like Angel and I are just helpless slaves to passion. Grow up!
[cuts to them making out]
Fling >> Buffy: I wouldn't break out the tartar sauce just yet. It's not like you were exposed more than once. Twice?
Xander: Three times a Fish Guy.
Buffy, Willow: Oh.
Cordelia: Whoa!
Xander: What am I gonna do?
Cordelia: You, you, you! What about me?! It's one thing to be dating the lame unpopular guy, but it's another to be dating the Creature from the Blue Lagoon.
Xander: Black Lagoon! The Creature from the Blue Lagoon was Brooke Shields. And thank you so much for your support!
Buffy: I think we'd better find the rest of the swim team and lock them up before they get in touch with their inner halibut.
Flirt >> Xander: Well, this is new territory for me. I mean, my valentines are usually met with heartfelt restraining orders..
Ex-Lover >> Xander: I just, present company excluded, I have the worst taste in women of anyone in the world, ever.
Buffy: Ampata wasn't evil. At least not to begin with, and... I-I do think she cared about you.
Xander: Yeah, but I think that whole sucking the life out of people thing would have been a strain on the relationship.

& Everyone else

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Fake Friend >>[After Willow and Harmony have signed each other's yearbooks.]
Willow: I'm going to miss her.
Buffy: Don't you hate her?
Willow: Yes, with a fiery vengeance. She picked on me for ten years. Vacuous tramp... It's like a sickness, Buffy. I'm missing everything. I miss P.E.!
Mixed Feelings >>Mr. Trick: Competition. Competition is a beautiful thing. It makes us strive. It makes us accomplish. Occasionally, it makes us kill. We all have the desire to win. Whether we're human, vampire or ... whatever the hell you are, my brother. You got them spiny-looking head things. I ain't never seen that before.
Kulak: I am Kulak, of the Miquot Clan.
Mr. Trick: Isn't that nice.
Confused Feelings >>Cordelia: You know what? I'm going. I'd rather be worm food than look at your pathetic face!
Xander: Then go! I'm not stopping you!
Cordelia: I bet you wouldn't. I bet you'd let a girl go off to her doom all by herself!
Xander: Not just any girl. You're special.
Cordelia: I can't believe that I'm stuck spending what will probably be my last few moments on Earth here with you!
Xander: I hope these are my last few moments. Three more seconds with you and I'm gonna...
Cordelia: "I'm gonna" what? [steps closer] Coward!
Xander: Moron!
Cordelia: I hate you!
Xander: I hate you!
[They kiss]
Xander: ...We so need to get out of here!
Cordelia: [nods, frightened] Uh huh.
Bad Influence >> Buffy: ... so then Kathy's like, "It's share time." And I'm like, "Oh yeah? Share this!"
[She punches the air.]
Oz: So, either you hit her, or you did your wacky mime routine for her.
Buffy: Well, I didn't do either, actually. But she deserves it, don't you think?
Oz: Nobody deserves a mime, Buffy.
You Protective Over Me >> Giles: I appreciate your thoughts on the matter, in fact I encourage you to always challenge me when you feel it's appropriate; you should never be cowed by authority. Except, of course, in this instance, when I am clearly right and you are clearly wrong.
Respect >>Giles: I don't believe it is. Do you want me to wag my finger at you and tell you that you acted rashly? You did. And I can. I know that you loved him. And, he ... he's proven more than once that he loved you. You couldn't have known what would happen. The coming months are, are going to be hard, I suspect on all of us. But if it's guilt you're looking for, Buffy, I'm not your man. All you will get from me is my support. And my respect.
Me Protective Over You >> [Willow is trying to help Riley get together with Buffy]
Willow: Talk, funny is good but don't be glib. And remember, if you hurt her I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun!
Love/Hate >>Cordelia: I can't even believe you. You dragged me out of bed for a ride? What am I, mass transportation?
Xander: That's what a lot of the guys say, but it's just locker room talk. I wouldn't pay it any mind.
Cordelia: Oh, great, so now I'm your taxi and your punching bag.
Xander: I like to think of you more as my witless foil, but have it your way

& Credits

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Colors >> The same Color Blender everyone else uses
Quotes >>Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Coding >> Eileen

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